Healthy Self-Esteem vs Poor Self-Esteem

How do we develop our self esteem
Our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during our childhood play a significant role in shaping our own sense of self. When we were growing up, our successes (and failures) and how we were treated by the members of our immediate family, by our teachers, coaches, religious authorities and by our peers, all contributed to the creation of our basic self-esteem.

Healthy self-esteem is based on our ability to assess ourselves accurately (know ourselves) and still be able to accept and to value ourselves unconditionally. This means being able to realistically acknowledge our strengths and limitations (which is part of being human) and at the same time accepting ourselves as worthy and worthwhile without conditions or reservations.

People with poor self-esteem often rely on how they are doing to determine how they feel about them selves. They need positive external experiences to counteract the negative feelings and thoughts that constantly plague them (stemming from events or traumas experienced negatively). Because the traumatic or negatively perceived events remain unresolved in memory, even good feelings (from a good grade, etc.) are often temporary fixes or 'highs'.

Four Faces of Low Self-Esteem Most of us have an image of what low self-esteem looks like, but it is not always so easy to recognize. Here are three common faces that low self-esteem may wear: The Placatuer: easy going and accomodating, yet lacks the skills or sense of self to recognize, value or express their own needs healthy. Typically identifies or values themselves based upon helping others as a means for helping themselves. This co-dependent cycle often expresses it self as people-pleasing behavior followed by indifference, anger and depression. The Impostor: acts happy and successful, but is really terrified of failure. Lives with the constant fear that she or he will be "found out." Needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition and burn-out. The Rebel: acts like the opinions or good will of others - especially people who are important or powerful - don't matter. Lives with constant anger about not feeling "good enough." Continuously needs to prove that others' judgments and criticisms don't hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules or laws or fighting authority. The Loser: acts helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue. Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life. Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement, and excessive reliance on others in relationships.

Portions of the above graphics and basis of information was resourced from The University of Texas at Austin,
The Counseling and Mental Health Center

To learn how The Indigo Method transforms
the three faces of low self-esteem, click on quantum healing.

 

The Indigo Method...
designed to unleash the wisdom, mastery and manifesting abilities innate within
indigo adults and their children who desire to come home to their hearts.